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What’s got four legs and ticks
Who’s not good at his tricks
He won’t inspire you to put on a tie
Race dog, retired- I’m so glad he’s mine
He’s last in every race
He lets the sprinkler hit his face
In doggie heaven, he'll sniff all the butts he likes.
But until then, my friend, he’ll just sniff mine
Santas Little helper
Santos L Halper
Jingle bells jingle bells jingle all the Simpsons
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2. |
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don't think that i can sleep alone
can't sink my teeth down to the bone
they say you can get used to anything
but it's not what you do, it's who you do it to
you made an enemy today
what kind of man does that and thinks he'll get away
and that's why you can't go home again
it's not what you did, it's who you did it to
daisy, i wish you lived a normal life
daisy, i wish we lived a normal life
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3. |
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All I wanted was a happy family
Then you peed on the picnic basket
Ultimate cockblock
Albatross from our cousin Eddie
Tied you up to the car behind me
You could not keep up
Not every dog goes to heaven
Dinky you're such a fucking drag
Sometimes you just have it coming
‘80s Chevy Chase was rad
Got lost on the drive to Phoenix
Explain this you son of a bitch
Family on a quest
Left a body on Normy's front yard
We'll all be whistling doo-dah
Biggest hole in the west
No everything won’t be alright
No everything won’t be okay
No everything won’t work out this time
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4. |
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if it's true all dogs go to heaven, why do I feel like I'm in hell?
if your love is like the summer then I'm in the middle of winter.
Charlie,
Charlie
He was a dog
but he is dead
I apologize if there are any mistakes in this song,
I used the internet to translate it as this is obviously not my first language.
In my experience the people that of France won't let me speak french with them.
When I visit they stop me from speaking, so I'm not very confident about my skills
& of course conjugations are very hard.
Why won't the people of France let me have a conversation with them in french?
But I digress this song is about Charlie, who is a dog
Charlie,
Charlie
He was a dog
but he is dead
Charlie,
Charlie
and if all dogs go to heaven
that would give me great comfort
He is a dog,
Well technically he WAS a dog
he still is but you know what i mean
And we all agree there is no such thing as heaven or hell
and that is just a construct of man,
so this is all just wishful thinking,
but again try explaining that to children everywhere.
Charlie,
Charlie
He was a dog
but he is dead
Charlie,
Charlie
and if all dogs go to heaven
that would give me great comfort
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5. |
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why'd you have to go and
slobber on everything
why'd you have to go and (baby)
mess up all of my things
but I know that I love you
and I know you love me too
so
why'd you have to go and
ruin everything
beethoven
beethoven
beethoven
beethoven
(alright)
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6. |
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I sit all alone
They're gone
30 years from home
And shot
20 minutes ago
They forgot
Body riddled with holes
My legend will never live on
A gull wing door
Opened and then
A dog stepped out
A forgotten hero of men:
Einstein
Let's set the record straight
Once and for all
I am deserving of your praise
Despite being a dog
I will no longer obey
Your beck and call
I time traveled today
So go ahead and fuck right off
A gull wing door
Opened and then
A dog stepped out
A forgotten hero of men:
Einstein
These are the reasons that I'm lost and found
I can't help but feeling like I broke new ground
When the people I thought I trusted have all run out
There's no time to find what's left behind this old sheephound
I pray for the words
To speak my mind
An existentialist hurt
First back in time
Without the credit I deserve
Can only sit and whine
I'm the fuckin' first
Your old pal Einstein
These are the reasons that I'm lost and found
I can't help but feeling like I broke new ground
When the people I thought I trusted have all run out
There's no time to see the legacy of this sheephound
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7. |
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I was born in a trash heap.
All I wanted was a loving home.
Milo pressman commands me.
I just do what I am told.
My reputation precedes me.
To sick balls. Sick balls
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8. |
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Gary and the Princess
Fighting side by side
Battling the darkness
All through the night
She was born in Burbank
He came from New York
The princess rescued Gary
When she fell down from the stars
Short, dark and handsome
Gary hold on tight
Gary found the princess
Now it’s gonna be alright
Gary and the princess
Walking down the street
She’s whacked out on something
And he’s on his leash
See them on the red carpet
And behind the velvet rope
The princess whispers to Gary,
“You’re my only hope”
Short, dark and handsome
Gary hold on tight
Gary found the princess
Now it’s gonna be alright
It’s gonna be alright
It’s gonna be alright
Gary and the Princess
Soaring through the sky
Until one night her highness
Well she flew too high
Yeah she flew too high
Oh she flew too high
Oh!!!
Send us a postcard
Tell us you’re okay
Now you walk in starlight
So far, far away
Short, dark and handsome
Gary hold on tight
Gary found the princess
Now it’s gonna be alright
It’s gonna be alright
It’s gonna be alright
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9. |
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Ran away from home, then I got kicked out
Need a good agent, keep me out of the pound
What can you do for Moose?
Barking orders at me’s no use
Show me what you can do for Moose
Just because I ad-lib don’t mean I ain’t trained
Going off-script is my claim to fame
What can you do for Moose?
I’ll fetch, but it’ll cost you
Tell me, what have you got for Moose?
*panting*
Shoulda got euthanized for what I done
Instead of being televised and rerun
Success is a cracker upside life’s face
It’s bound to fall off, just gotta watch and wait
What can you do for Moose?
Barking orders at me’s no use
Show me what you can do for Moose
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10. |
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11. |
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I don’t understand
But I believe you anyway
Teach me how to sing like that
You won’t believe how good I play
Let’s take it again from the top
You can can count me in
With 2 and 3 or 4 and 1
Now isn’t this fun?
They don’t understand you
They don’t listen to what you say
I don’t like how they look at you
But I hate it when they look away
There but for the abandoned born
Will always go a stray
Heel on 2 or stay on 1
Now that’s no fun
They say that it gets better
But it isn’t true
It gets much worse
But it does get used to you
Know when they belittle you
Oh they belittle me too
Those who can suffer well they do
I don’t understand
But I believe you anyway
Don’t it sound just like a wonderful lie I was payed to say to teach you how to stay
I was only running
You were running away
Give a hand to paw
He knew we don’t belong
Here in Witchita
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12. |
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13. |
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this is fine
nothing’s wrong
take my time
to finish this cup of coffee
freshly brewed
i ground the beans
smells like sunshine
life’s a dream
this is fine
i’m okay
with the events unfolding
currently
didn’t think
this could get so fucked up
lit a match
thought it was much too small to burn
everything down
ignored the signs
there was no reason for this
there was no rhyme
and now i don’t even feel like
i belong to myself
i am part of something bigger
and as i melt
i hope i’ll meet my maker
this is fine
nothing’s wrong
take my time
to finish this cup of coffee
freshly brewed
i ground the beans
smells like sunshine
life’s a dream
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14. |
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Picture a land of trolley cars
Long before science went too far
Two friends who can't be beat (that's right)
Real San Francisco treat (mm mmm)
Whether the spring or the fall, he was the belle of the ball
He went by Bummer, a hell of a dog
And at the drop of a hat, he'd kill a bucket of rats
He had a nose, I gotta tell ya, it'd cut through the fog
And with a bum of a leg, along did Lazarus beg
It was a friendship beyond compare
For a couple of strays, life sure was gay
We're singing their song to this day
Kings of the land of trolley cars
Two dogs with but a single bark
True as the bright, yellow sun (Bummer, Bummer)
Two tails that wagged as one (and Lazarus)
Kings of the land of trolley cars
Two dogs with but a single bark
Bummer and Lazarus may be gone, but
Forever they'll live in our hearts
Bark!
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A compilation album about our favorite dogs. #DogConceptAlbum.
All proceeds that would have gone to the artists will be donated to ASPCA to help the dogs affected by Hurricane Harvey.
released September 5, 2017
ARTISTS:
Allie Goertz
Casey Boyd
Mark Hoppus
Nerf Herder
Chantal Claret
Mike Krol
The Doubleclicks
Jonah Ray
S.A. Bach
Adam Busch
Dan Bern
Lucia Fasano
Andy Kneis
Jenny's Midnight Screamatorium
PRODUCED BY:
Casey Boyd & Allie Goertz
ALBUM ART:
Perry Shall